Despite acquiring the hangover that's akin to having one of those cymbal clashing monkeys follow you around for an entire morning, the young person is a huge fan of pretending to enjoy "being soooo blacked out last night." (insert "dude,""man," or "bro" to conclude this sentence.)
If you are familiar with the ways of young people, you will know that the false interest of "being soooo blacked out last night" is appealing because:
1. If expressed via text, this false interest allows the young person to use anywhere between 3-8 o's to emphasize their level of blackout-ness.
2. Whereas the person who simply got "shit-hammered" or "schwasty" can only really tack on 1-2 beers when lying about how much they drank last night, the young person who was sooo blacked out is allowed to add an unlimited number of extra drinks to their total. Because all young people who got sooo blacked out last night also claim to have higher tolerances than all their friends, they usually consume anywhere from 17 shots to 22 beers per blackout.
3. Whatever this young person did the night before is instantly more insane bro, even though there is a decent chance this young person simply left the bar and threw up in some alleyway. In extreme cases, being soo blacked out enables the young person to make up sensationalist stories with the hope of becoming immortalized as a collegiate legend. It is important to pick your spots when doing this, due to its inherent riskiness. Once the young person gets called out, his or her credibility is ruined forever. When it comes to fratting hard, no one will ever take this young person seriously again, effectively ruining a level of street cred that often takes thousands of natty lights to build up.
4. The young person gets to complain about how much they drank last night, which incidentally happens to be the most popular extra-cirricular activity on all college campuses in the world that aren't named BYU.
When really feeling it, the young person is known to throw in a "I'm never drinking again." It is proper form to mock this young person in a casual manner, but also to make sure that you show the appropriate level of concern so that the young person thinks that you are sympathizing with them, a primary need for all young people.
Getting sooooo blacked out becomes a false interest when the young person wakes up to find that they no longer are in possession of their wallet and/or phone.
It is often a better strategy for the young person who got soooo blacked out last night to never find their phone again, as this prevents the young person from seeing that they sent 17 creepy text messages to their ex, their friend that they haven't talked to in at least six months, and the person they were working on hooking up with for the better part of the semester. After months of patience, diligence, and mad game spitting, getting sooo blacked out last night effectively destroys any shot the young person may have had with this person, crushing their hopes, dreams, sexual fantasies, and bragging rights in the process.
That is, until the other person does the same exact thing two weeks later.
If you are familiar with the ways of young people, you will know that the false interest of "being soooo blacked out last night" is appealing because:
1. If expressed via text, this false interest allows the young person to use anywhere between 3-8 o's to emphasize their level of blackout-ness.
2. Whereas the person who simply got "shit-hammered" or "schwasty" can only really tack on 1-2 beers when lying about how much they drank last night, the young person who was sooo blacked out is allowed to add an unlimited number of extra drinks to their total. Because all young people who got sooo blacked out last night also claim to have higher tolerances than all their friends, they usually consume anywhere from 17 shots to 22 beers per blackout.
3. Whatever this young person did the night before is instantly more insane bro, even though there is a decent chance this young person simply left the bar and threw up in some alleyway. In extreme cases, being soo blacked out enables the young person to make up sensationalist stories with the hope of becoming immortalized as a collegiate legend. It is important to pick your spots when doing this, due to its inherent riskiness. Once the young person gets called out, his or her credibility is ruined forever. When it comes to fratting hard, no one will ever take this young person seriously again, effectively ruining a level of street cred that often takes thousands of natty lights to build up.
4. The young person gets to complain about how much they drank last night, which incidentally happens to be the most popular extra-cirricular activity on all college campuses in the world that aren't named BYU.
When really feeling it, the young person is known to throw in a "I'm never drinking again." It is proper form to mock this young person in a casual manner, but also to make sure that you show the appropriate level of concern so that the young person thinks that you are sympathizing with them, a primary need for all young people.
Getting sooooo blacked out becomes a false interest when the young person wakes up to find that they no longer are in possession of their wallet and/or phone.
It is often a better strategy for the young person who got soooo blacked out last night to never find their phone again, as this prevents the young person from seeing that they sent 17 creepy text messages to their ex, their friend that they haven't talked to in at least six months, and the person they were working on hooking up with for the better part of the semester. After months of patience, diligence, and mad game spitting, getting sooo blacked out last night effectively destroys any shot the young person may have had with this person, crushing their hopes, dreams, sexual fantasies, and bragging rights in the process.
That is, until the other person does the same exact thing two weeks later.
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